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Y Farteg: should the village of Varteg change its name?

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The residents of the Welsh village are unhappy with the idea of changing its name to something more traditional. Can you guess why?

*Age: *Strictly speaking, it doesn't quite exist.

*Appearance: *Sleepy Welsh village nestling in the hills near Pontypool, dotted with ruins from its industrial past.

*That's a pretty detailed description for something that doesn't exist.* Well, it's there; it's just not called Y Farteg.

*What is it called?* Varteg.

*It's not a million miles away, is it?* No, but the Welsh Language Commissioner has nevertheless proposed changing from one to the other, as part of a consultation involving 22 place names in the county of Torfaen.

*Why Farteg?* Because the Welsh language has no V in it. Varteg is considered an English corruption.

*And the Welsh like nothing better than reclaiming their language – if necessary, one consonant at a time. *Not in Varteg, though. They're against the change.

*How come?* Can you guess?

*Let me see: is it because "Farteg" sounds like "fart egg"?* Spot on.

*Really?* "I'd be humiliated every time I told someone my address," said resident Sioned Jones. "Everyone will be laughing at us and coming to get photographed next to the street signs."

*I think he's overestimating people's willingness to travel for that sort of joke.* That's not the official reason for their objections. "Varteg is not an English word so translating it is totally unnecessary," said local MP Paul Murphy. "It's a name that reflects our rich history and culture in the Eastern Valley, with its Welsh-language and English-language influences."

*Ha ha!* What's funny about that?

*Nothing. I was just thinking about Y Farteg. It's like, "Why fart, egg?"* Actually the "Y" is the Welsh definite article.

*"The fart egg." Ffnarr. *Actually, Ffnarr is the next village over from Varteg.

*Is it really?* No. But that would be hilarious.

*You know what else would be hilarious? If Y Farteg was twinned with the town of **Wank in Germany**. *Yes. Yes it would.

*Do say: *"Whether it's spelled Varteg or Y Farteg, villagers should be proud to display this ancient Welsh place name on their welcome sign."

*Don't say: *"Alongside a picture of a huge farting egg." Reported by guardian.co.uk 1 hour ago.

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